My cute APPLE advocate

When I came home from work tonight, Ron was so excited to show me his birthday present from me (his birthday is July 27th). His new IPHONE 4G! It is pretty funny! Every time a new Apple thing comes out, he always tries to explain to me why it the coolest and most high tech thing on the planet and he needs it for work. I used to try to disagree, but now I just say ok, whatever babe! When Ron goes into the Apple store, it is like a little kid in the candy store. So, as you can see, the picture above is a collection of some of Ron's favorite necessities: his mac, three Iphones with the new 4G addition, as well as the new IPAD. Yes, my husband is officially an APPLE nerd, but I love that about him!

cute baby shower invitation..

My mother-in-law made the cutest announcements for the baby shower! Karsen's room is going to be green and brown and have the jungle theme. The picture I took of the announcement does not give it justice, but it is so cute and I love the poem about adoption. Our nephew Lincoln is helping his grandma with the baby shower and they were at the store looking for jungle stuff and he said, "Grandma, remember what we came here for!" Then when they were at our house the other day, he said, "Darcee, we got you a present" and he began to tell me what the present was. His mom put her finger over her mouth to tell Lincoln that it was a surprise and not to tell me, but Lincoln interpreted it wrong and whispered to me, "Darcee, we got you a present" and continued to tell me what it was. It was pretty funny!

Sleepover with the girls...

So Saturday was a lot of fun! Kaiya, Kelsey, and Kolby came up and slept over. They are so much fun! We came up to my house and filled up water balloons. Which they tried to hit me with, but they totally missed! ( especially Kolby! She didn't even get close. haha she is 3 years old) Kels did get Ron wet though when he feeding Keiko:) Then we went and saw Toy Story 3 in 3D. It was pretty funny because Kolby was in my lap and as soon as she put her 3D glasses on it looked like something was popping out of the screen and she jumped. Later, we painted and then went down the street so we could see the fireworks for Founders Day. It was alot of fun and I am excited for when they can play with Karsen. Kelsey loved playing with Keiko and feeding her lots of treats!

I wish there wasn't a shadow on Kolby's face, but this is her after church in her cute tutu and her hat that she didn't want to take off.

We blew up an air mattress for the girls to sleep on. It really was huge and this is where Kolby ended up in the morning. GO USC!!!!!

Ready to head out to see the fireworks! They had to borrow my jackets! GO USC again!

Such a mess, but a lot of fun painting and ice cream! Oh yeah, and watching "The Suite Life on Deck". I think we watched about 3 episodes.

Pedicures..

I have not been real good at keeping up to date on things. Last wednesday, my mom, Cassie, and I went and got pedicures. It was nice to just talk and relax. It was also really nice for my Mom to meet Cassie. She was really excited and a little nervous. When Cassie came up she gave my mom a hug and my mom just started bawling. I told her it was okay, because I am the one that usually is bawling. I think open adopting is really new for a lot of people and so they don't know what to expect or what to say. It really is amazing how well Cassie and I get along and how we can talk about anything. I think my mom felt the same way I felt when I first met Cassie and that is just overwhelming love for her. My mom actually was able to meet Cassie's mom as well and my mom just loved talking to her. This is the kind of people Cassie and her mom are. When we were at dinner last week, I asked Cassie's mom what is good hair product for curling your hair (fyi- she does hair) and she told me she liked Onesta. Well, she was by where we were getting our pedicures and bought if for me and brought the Onesta to me. Seriously, so kind! Anyway, I am so glad that my mom was able to meet Cassie and her mom and feel how much love we have for both of them and see how amazing Karsen's mom is. Now, my mom always texts me or calls me and asks how Cassie is doing. How did she do in school, her job, her pregnancy, etc. It was a fun day and my toes are really cute also!!

Happy (late) Father's Day......

This Father's Day was a really good one! I feel bad that I am writing this post late, but it has been a busy couple of days! I was so excited to give Ron a father's day card that said it was from Karsen and I. Such a simple thing, but I was excited! I am very grateful for all of the wonderful fathers in my life. I love my Dad so much and I am grateful for all that he does for me. I love all the things that he has taught me. I can't remember my dad ever yelling at me. He has always had a very calm voice and I don't think I yell because I never saw it done. My dad always gives me good advice and he always makes me laugh! Some of my favorite memories with my Dad are when he was trying to get us to clean and we were not cleaning where he wanted us to. There was a wall that separated the kitchen from the living room and he was trying to tell us that we needed to clean on top of the wall. He showed us how is was done and climbed up with his bucket of soapy water and put the bucket on top of the wall. He didn't know the wall was only about 4 inches wide and he ended up dumping the water over the wall onto the couch. It was hilarious! One of my other favorite memories was on one my dad's birthday. He always bought the strawberry boston cake for birthdays and we were sitting on his water bed getting ready to eat our cake when my brother jumped up and sat on the water bed so it made the bed sway like a wave. My dad ended up getting pushed forward and his cake went flying off the plate right into his shoe. It was also hilarious! I loved going fishing with just my dad and I and all of our one on one time.

Now my cute husband! Ron will be the greatest father! He is so cute with all of our nieces, nephews, and neighbor kids. I love him so much! He loves to be around kids and all of our neighbor kids think he is their older brother:) I am so excited for Ron to be the greatest dad to Karsen. He is so patient and loves to have fun. The other day, he held someone's baby all through sacrament and I was quite impressed. He is ready to be a daddy:)

Dinner with Cassie and her mom...

Well, last night, Ron and I met with Cassie and our caseworkers and just had a good time talking. It was really nice that we feel so comfortable talking with Cassie. Our caseworker said this meeting is usually when the adoptive couple and the birth mom meet for the first time and everyone can be really nervous. I was nervous that the caseworkers were there more than anything, but all my fears went away when we started talking about "Eclipse". Ha Ha, I am just kidding, but I am excited to go to the movie with Cassie and my mom. Anyway, I just have to say that I love Cassie! I have felt so grateful for her and all that she gives to us that I just don't exactly know what to do. I always tell her how grateful I am for which I am sure she is sick of:) but at this time, I cannot love Karsen more or do something for him and so when I see something I think Cassie might like, I will buy it for her. She was so amazing last night when she told us that we didn't need to buy her anything. She said, I know what I am doing is a sacred thing! She truly is a mother who loves her son and I love her for that! Cass, we will still buy you stuff anyway:) Also, tonight we went out to dinner with Cassie and her mom and it was a lot of fun. Her mom is a sweetheart and we loved getting to know her. It is always nice to talk to different family members and hear their perspective on our adoption. Whether it be Cassie, her mom, my mom, etc., they all have a different perspective and it is good for us to understand where everyone is coming from. I am truly grateful that their is love and support from both sides! Cassie's mom was such a sweetheart and talked about how usually the father gives the baby the first bath and Cassie asked Ron if he would want to give Karsen his first bath. It was pretty cute because he started tearing up and it took him by surprise and he tried to say, "I would love to " without crying. He is going to be such an amazing dad! We are so excited for that day!!

7 Weeks...

Well, there is less than 7 weeks until Cassie is due and we couldn't be more excited. We really have been trying to get Karsen's room completed and buy all of the essentials. It has been such an amazing experience even buying all of the stuff. I didn't realize how down I was for a while. I thought I was always my usual energetic and happy self, but since we found out that Karsen was coming, life has a whole new meaning. I have so much more energy and happiness as I go to work, as I run in the morning, as I read my scriptures,as Ron and I go on our walks, etc. I am just filled with so much joy and gratitude for this sweet baby boy and his amazing mother that will bless our family so much. Sometimes I am just driving down the road and just feel complete happiness. If I feel that way now, I cannot even imagine how it will feel when we actually bring Karsen home. I will forever love Cassie for giving me this happiness. Truly Cassie is my hero and I don't know a more selfless and loving person. I am so excited to go to dinner with her and her mom in a couple of days. I have learned so much through our adoption journey. One of which is just how grateful I am for the precious children in my life and also the sacred blessing it is to be a mother. Never take your children for granted:) Yeah, The countdown begins!! As soon as we have Karsen's room put together, I will make sure to post pictures!!

Park City with my Mom....

On Friday, my mom and I went down to Park City to go shopping. We had some really good talks on the way there and back. I played the Michael Mclean song for her and we both bawled. I love talking with my Mom about anything. I think my mom and I are professional shoppers! We became really good shoppers when I was younger and would travel a lot for soccer and we some how found a shopping outlet or mall wherever we went! I think I did pretty good in that I did not buy any baby clothes. I admit, it was a little difficult, but everyone keeps telling me to not buy clothes because I will get so many at the showers. My Mom bought some baby stuff though that is really cute and I am so excited!I loved spending the day with my Mom and I love her so much and the closer it gets to me being a mom, the more grateful I am for my mom. I love that I am so much like my mom. Many people say we even walk the same and our mannerisms are the same. I love her so much and now she is the greatest (and most energetic) grandma I know. I love that she always had time for us and has always been our biggest fan in everything we did. I love that she is crazy like a little kid and always running and playing with the grandkids. I love that she taught me how to work and was always a great example of a hardworker. Anyway, there are many things I love about my mom. Thanks Mom for a fun shopping trip!!

A special temple trip...

Yesterday when I was at the temple, I had a cute little temple worker ask me how old I was. I told her I was 25 and she looked at me with a funny look and she said that I looked really young. She then asked if I was married and I told her yes and then she asked if I had children. I told her that we didn't have any yet, but that we will be adopting a baby boy in a couple of months. It was amazing as I told this little old lady this, that the spirit just confirmed to me again that Heavenly Father loves Cassie so much and also that we are supposed to be Karsen's parents. I have had many confirmations like this, but none that were this strong. It truly was an amazing experience and I know our Heavenly Father's hand is in each of our lives. It is no mistake that we are in the families that we are in. I have felt our Heavenly Father's hand so much as we have been guided to Cassie and Karsen. I started crying when I told the temple worker that we would be adopting and she said, "Oh sorry dear, I didn't mean to ask you something so personal!" I told her that I was crying because I was happy and just felt how blessed we were and grateful for the temple and eternal families. She gave me a hug and we I went on my way. Truly the temple is the house of the Lord and I feel his guidance there so much.
We are told that our home can be like a temple and I have felt that tonight. Ron started singing and playing on the piano, "From God's Arms to my Arms to Yours" and I again felt the spirit so strong. Adoption truly is about love and about miracles. I have heard over and over about how each adoption will have it's own miracles. I can truly say that I have seen miracles in our adoption journey. Heavenly Father has been involved in every step of the way. I know the miracles are our Heavenly Father's hands. He loves His children so much and I have been able to witness just how much He loves Karsen and will always love Karsen.

Good News Minutes....

Today really was amazing. I was not expecting to feel some of the feelings I did. In sacrament, I was just bawling the whole time, because it really hit me that we will be blessed with a baby boy soon. I was just thinking about how grateful I am for everything and how our Heavenly Father truly knows what is best for all of us. In Relief Society, we always have "Good News Minutes" which is when the women share any good news that they have had that week. Well, I was so excited to share my good news, but I started crying so hard that I could barely get the words out that we were going to be adopting a baby boy in a couple of months. The crying hit me pretty quick so I was kind of embarrassed that I couldn't even talk. Something just hits you when you actually are saying it out loud to people that makes you realize it is really happening. We have a very close ward and so I was glad that other women were crying for me as well and that I wasn't the only bawl baby. I love my ward and they are very supportive. It was so cute, because some of my young women found me after church and were also giving me hugs and were so excited for us. Some of them were already asking me if they could babysit. I will have to tell them that I will probably be pretty selfish for a while and not want to leave Karsen, but later on, I am set for life:) We have truly been so blessed and I can't thank my Heavenly Father and Cassie enough.

Whitney's wedding reception....

Tonight we went to my sister in law's sister's wedding reception. ( Wow, that is a mouthful) It was really beautiful and I was really excited to see the girls because Kennedy was the maid of honor and the rest of them were flower girls. We were told that Kolby was bringing the rings down the isle and got distracted by some ducks and stopped walking. She is so funny! When we got there, Kolby wanted Ron to come eat by her and she kept trying to feed him her food all night. The girls looked so cute and later that evening, they had dancing and I laughed so hard. Kennedy is usually the shy one and she was leading all of them in dance moves. Khloe was so cute when she was dancing. We are still trying to figure out who taught Khloe her moves. I am so excited for Adam, Jenny, and the girls to move back to Utah so we can do stuff together and also so that Karsen will be able to play with his cousins:)

What is a permanent hold? OH, I will tell you!

So Cassie asked me yesterday if her caseworker could put our profile on a permanent hold. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but it sounded good to me. I asked Cassie what that meant and she said, "It means that no other birth mothers could choose us and that we would be Karsen's parents permanently." When she told me that, I was about to cry. We have talked about it and planned it, but it just feels so real when you hear it or see it in writing. Cassie said that it meant that she wanted to place Karsen with us permanently! I can't even explain how amazing it feels and it will only be more amazing when we actually get to hold him. What makes it even more amazing is that Cassie said she was excited also. We will be forever grateful for the life Cassie is making possible for us and also her unconditional love. I always expected to feel the love she has for Karsen, but what I didn't expect is the love she has for me and Ron. She truly amazes me everyday and I am excited that we will have an open adoption.

A fun afternoon with Ken..

Today, Adam called me and asked if I could help Kennedy with her backhandspring and I was so excited! I usually do not get to spend time with just Ken because I usually have at least 2 or 3 of the girls. It was neat to see what a hard worker she is. I would ask her if she was tired or needed a drink and she would just keep on going. About 50 backhandsprings later, I think she asked if she could get a drink. I am so excited that they are moving back to Utah and that they will be able to be so close to Karsen. They are pretty excited too:)

Smoothie Nights....

Well, it is actually not summer yet in terms of the warm weather, but I love summer nights when kids are out of school. This sounds pretty silly, but I love that our neighbor kids can stay out late and come have smoothies with us. I think we came up with a new tradition of smoothie nights. We are still trying to come up with some better concoctions, but our creations so far have been pretty good. At least the kids love them. Brooke fell as soon as we got to our house and she was crying and so I picked her up and was asking her if she wanted to go back home and in her sobs she cried, "No, I want to make my smoothie!" So we turned on Dora and made the smoothies and she was good as new. She really wanted to push our new baby stroller over to her house and so I helped her and then on the way home, I was just hoping nobody saw me pushing an empty baby stroller down the street. No, I am not baby hungry at all:) Anyway, I love our smoothie nights and am so excited when we can actually drink our smoothies outside in warm weather!

Meeting Cassie....

We met Cassie for the first time last night and it was amazing! We were both a little nervous and said a prayer before leaving the house. I was so scared Cassie would think I was ugly, fat, too short (there's not much I can do about that one) and everything else. Ron asked if me I thought I would recognize her and I told him I sure hope so and if not, she's pregnant so that is a give away. So pregnancy is not a give away because we couldn't even tell she was pregnant. Cassie is gorgeous! Yes, Cassie, you are gorgeous and not just cute:) We were not quite sure how the evening would go or what we would talk about, but I soon remembered how comfortable I felt talking to her. It was fun hearing her talk about Karsen kicking like crazy and she showed us pictures of the ultrasound and she brought us the video of the ultrasound, which we watched as soon as we got home. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father brought us together (through the help of Marianne:)) Every time I talk with Cassie, I am filled with more gratitude, admiration, and love for her. We decided to keep his first name Karsen and then he will have a wicked cool Japanese middle name that we are still not sure of. It was such an amazing night! We loved it! I laugh now that we were so nervous because we ended up talking to Cassie for 3 hours. It is amazing how much your life can change in a single week and I am loving it!