A little better...

Well, yesterday was a little better, but still hard. I woke up in the morning and I new Karsen was gone, but I saw some of his blankets bundled up in his crib and I had to do a double take to make sure he was not there. I started to cry when I was folding all of his little clothes and putting them away. I think it is just the little things that got to me yesterday. Cleaning bottles and putting them in the cupboard, wondering when they will be getting use again. It has been amazingly difficult, but I am grateful for this experience. During those past few days when I had the opportunity to be a Mom, I had more fulfillment in life than I have had in a long time. Although it was just a lot of changing diapers, feeding Karsen, and a couple sleepless nights, but I loved every minute of it. So to all you mom's out there, be grateful for those sleepless nights with your baby because it just means that you are a mother!
It has been very humbling to me to be the recipient of so many prayers! I never had so many people praying for us and I have truly felt every single prayer and have been lifted up. Thank you again so much! The other day when I was reading my scriptures, I was reminded of a prayer I had said about a year ago, "Heavenly Father, please help me to know my Savior better." As I thought about this prayer, I realize that every trial we go through helps us to know our Savior better, helps us to turn to Him, helps us to realize how much love He has for us and continually shaping our life for the better. I know blessings await us! I am just hoping sooner than later!