Thursday, September 25th, 2014

On Thursday, morning, P was planning on signing in the morning and Ron was talking to P earlier and he said she seemed great and ready to sign. Stephanie came early and she also said that P seemed ready. I got there at 10:30 and they said that P was holding Lola again and just spending some time with her. Well, the attorney got there to sign papers and P didn't want to let go of Lola to sign the papers. The attorney went in to go over the papers again and for P to relinquish her rights. The attorney was in the room with P for over 2 hours and then the social worker went in and the attorney went in and P was just stalling. Ron, Stephanie, a paralegal, and myself were waiting for over 3 hours. During that time, I had also found out that P had called the birth father during the night and sent him pictures of Lola and told him to come pick up her and Lola. He actually said no, which is sad, but a huge blessing. Finally the nurses just said that she would be discharged 48 hours after delivery which would be 4:51pm and then she would need to make a decision of whether she was going to place the baby for adoption or keep her. I was going out of my mind and was filled with more and more anxiety. I never want to put a price on a baby or bring up money, but the reality of life is that money runs out. We had already spent around $17,000 at this point and I think part of the anxiety was coming from the fact that  the lawyer charges $350/hr and he was basically just standing outside of a hospital room for hours doing nothing and this was the second time the attorneys had come up on P's request to sign papers. Like I said, you cannot put a price on a baby and it really wasn't even about the money, but it does cause some stress when you don't know if you will have enough to pay for everything. Also, if P decided to keep the baby, we would just be out this money and would need to save for another year or two to adopt. Ron just said, " It's going to be okay. If that happens, we will just put in behind us and move on." Yes, he is absolutely amazing!  I told Ron that I couldn't be at the hospital and if P didn't want to see me, I didn't need to be there. I just wanted to go pick up my girls who had been staying with grandparents, on and off, for the past 4 days.  Reese and Nora were emotionally exhausted as well and they wanted to be home and they hadn't spent any time with Ron for about 4 days. I drove home feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. I actually felt numb and couldn't even cry. I couldn't even process what was going on. I picked up Reese from preschool and she screamed my name and just ran to me and gave me the biggest hug. I put Reese in her car seat and she said, "Where's baby Lola? She's coming home today?" I just started bawling and was trying to hide it because I didn't want Reese to see me crying. Anyway, I picked up Nora and the girls and we just cuddled all the rest of the day. I didn't want to let go of them and was just so grateful for our beautiful daughters. They truly bring us so much happiness! I asked Reese, "Reesie, what's something fun we can do today? We can do whatever you want." She said, "I know, what if we go to the hospital and see baby Lola and get ice cream." I felt so bad that our girls were emotionally invested as well and they could possibly start crying if P decided to keep the baby.

So 4:51pm came around and Ron notified me that P decided to keep the baby. Ron was waiting at the hospital to try to talk to her, but she wouldn't even talk to him so Ron just came home to see Reese and Nora. He was about 5 min away from home, when he got a call from P and she said she was ready to sign the papers. Ron called the attorney and they met him at the hospital for the third time. They went over the paperwork again and were there for over 3 hours again and when it came time for P to sign, she was crying and a nurse came up to her and asked her if she needed a little break. The nurse took P away to a room and I just have to add that P was discharged and this nurse had no right to step in when P was getting legal council. At that point, P couldn't sign the papers. Ron walked back to talk to P and the nurse walked out very defensive with her claws out. Ron let her have it and just told her, " Look, this is the third time that P has called for the lawyers to come to sign these papers. I was her decision for them to be here and they have come here after hours for her. Also, P is discharged and so is the baby and it is not your job to come and get her when she is getting legal council. Then he just told her. If P can't talk to me, let her know I am going home. If she needs a ride, have her call me. I let the girls wait up for Ron to get home and they literally sat on the stairs. When he came home around 10:30pm, they ran over to him and he just held them and sobbed. After putting the girls to bed, we called the hospital to make sure that P and Lola were okay. The hospital just said that they were somewhere safe. We thought that P and Lola might be taken to a women's shelter because she didn't have any family or friends here. We didn't sleep much, but prayed about what to do and just felt that we needed to fly out P's best friend that has been her rock throughout the pregnancy. We called E'lle around 11:30pm and got her okay and then booked her a flight for 6:30am the next morning in hopes that she could find P and be able to reason with her.

On Friday morning, I was running and just felt that I needed to call Portia. I called and left a message on her phone and a few minutes later, she called back. I asked her if she and Lola were okay and asked where she was.  She said she wasn't doing good and that she was at a hotel in Clearfield. She started crying and told me that she shouldn't have taken Lola to the hotel and that she was scared and Lola didn't deserve this and she should have let her go home with us. She just kept saying that Lola shouldn't be here. I asked her if she wanted someone to come pick Lola up right now and she said yes. I assured her that it was not too late to change Lola's life and that we love her. I told her that we want to see her succeed and go back to school and get the job she wants, be married in the temple, and be happy. I told her that I was sorry that we had not had E'lle come out earlier and be there for her, but she will be there for her soon. I called my AMAZING friend Stephanie and she and her husband went and picked up Lola and took her back to her house. I didn't want Lola to come to our house before the papers were signed. I just didn't want the girls to be confused and our amazing Stephanie said she didn't mind watching Lola at her house. (I could go on and on about how amazing Stephanie is and all that she has done for us to make sure that Lola made it to our family. I actually will on a later post.)

So E'lle's flight came in around 12:30pm and she got the care we rented for her and drove down and picked up Portia and they spent some time together and then went down to the attorney's office to sign papers. Around 5:00pm, we received a text from E'lle letting us know that P signed the papers and that Lola was ours! I can't even tell you how happy I was and I drove right over to Stephanie's to pick up our baby girl. When Stephanie opened up the door, we just hugged and cried. I was so happy to finally bring our baby girl home, but I was also overwhelmed with gratitude for all that Stephanie and her husband has done for us. Stephanie is a busy lady and she has spent pretty much the last 2 weeks helping P and us to make sure that we were able to adopt Lola. She stayed with P for her 24 hours of labor and didn't even eat a whole lot because she didn't want to eat in front of P. She spent pretty much all of Wednesday and Thursday at the hospital and then watched our sweet Lola most of Friday. Words cannot express how grateful we are for Stephanie and Scott! We were trying to think of what Lola will call Stephanie and Stephanie came up with Fairy Godmother, but she said she needed a wand:)

We are so grateful for our sweet baby Lola. She is sent from Heaven. Thank you to all that have prayed for us, fasted for us, put our names on the temple prayer rolls. We definitely have felt it. I am grateful for P and her selfless decision.I am grateful for E'lle (I need to write a separate post about her as well) and all that she has sacrificed to bring Lola to us.  I am grateful that I can tell Lola just how much she is loved and how difficult it was for her birth mother to place her for adoption, but that she loved her enough to do it. I am grateful for the gospel and the power of heaven. I am grateful for prayer and for the guidance we have received throughout this week. My testimony has been strengthened so much throughout this past week and I love it. I need to write a separate post about that because it is getting late, but I am grateful for all the Heavenly and earthly angels that helped to make this adoption happen. We love you!
                                            ( Sorry about all the grammatical errors. I am a little tired.)