The things I know to be true....

 This past fast Sunday was the last Sunday we had with Lola. I had a strong desire to share my testimony because it has been strengthened so much during the past couple of months. I waited too long during sacrament and didn't get the opportunity to bear my testimony. I felt like I had disappointed Heavenly Father somehow. As I was driving home, I was praying and apologizing to Heavenly Father, but I quickly felt these words, "You don't need to say your testimony, you are living it." Every time I hear Heavenly Father's voice lately, it just brings me more and more peace in knowing that I am doing what He has asked of me. I sure don't feel like I am living my testimony, but I hope that I am. The spirit was so strong today and I can't help but bear my testimony in any way that I can..........

I know that we have a Heavenly Father who is all knowing, all loving, all powerful, and it is His greatest desire to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). We truly are His children and He loves us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son to atone for all of our sins. I know that the atonement is real. I know that it is real because I feel it working in me every single day of my life. I am so grateful for my Savior that has suffered for me so He would know exactly how I feel and could "succor" me in my afflictions ( Alma 7;11-12). This whole adoption journey has been a difficult and yet spiritually drenched experience. I have felt the spirit guiding us to Lola since before we even met Portia. We felt the spirit that this was the child we had been praying for when Portia first emailed us. When it seemed like things were not going to work out, time and time again, we felt the spirit guiding us to keep moving forward. After the roller coaster of events at the hospital and Portia being discharged with Lola, we felt the Spirit and knew that things would work out. After Portia had changed her mind and told the birth father everything he needed to do to stop the adoption and then actually filed the petition, we felt the spirit and were guided every step of the way. We felt it when we needed to reverse the adoption, we felt it when Lola needed to return with us, and we felt when it when it was time to let her go. It was amazing to me that when I had actually asked for a sign to know that it was time to let Lola go....... Heavenly Father gave it. I had specifically asked that we would be contacted by a birth mother when it was time to let Lola go and he blessed us with this. We were contacted by the sweetest birth mother that I had been having promptings about for a while. After she contacted, I felt peace in letting Lola go. Portia came and picked up Lola a few days later and I knew that Heavenly Father had a plan for our family and I had done what He had asked.  I testify that we can truly have His spirit to be with us everyday if we live in such a way to have it. Although this adoption has not gone as we had hoped for planned for, we know that we needed to be a part of Lola's life at this time, we know that it was not a mistake that we were brought into her life, and we know that we have done all that has been asked of us. We have so much peace in knowing and feeling that Heavenly Father is proud of us. This feeling has got me through some difficult times. I know that Heavenly Father truly is all knowing and He knows what is best for our family and for Lola. I am grateful that He is all knowing because I can put my complete faith in Him and know that He will not lead me astray. I know that if we can endure through the difficult times, blessings lie ahead in my life and that is exciting. I know that Heavenly Father will bless us more than I can even imagine. Reese and Nora are always examples of that. I look forward to the wonderful blessings that await us if we just patiently wait in faith.  I know that the scriptures are the word of God and I have received so many answers to my prayers as I have read my scriptures. I am grateful that Heavenly Father has helped me to truly not just read, but study and search the scriptures for answers. They are there, but we need to ask and seek. The scriptures have brought me so much comfort and guidance.

One of my favorite quotes is this.....
"Even if and when we seem to have squeezed out the last full measure of our devotion, an omniscient and perfectly empathetic God not only knows the difficulties through which we have passed and are passing but also knows if any residue of unused devotion still remains to further the process!" -Elder Maxwell

I have used this quote many times because I love it! We have all heard the quote many times that talks about how God will not give us anything that we cannot handle, but it's about a loving Heavenly Father that knows exactly what we need to become like Him. I am grateful for this experience that has helped me to become more like my Savior. I know that when we are humble, Heavenly Father can do great things in our life. It is through the atonement that we can have our nature changed and that gives me hope. We will not just endure, but we can triumph.  I love my Savior and I love my Father in Heaven. It is because of them that we can rise above any trial or affliction we may face. I am grateful for trials that strengthen my faith! I know that Heavenly Father will bless us when we act in faith and are obedient. I know Heavenly Father has blessed and will continue to bless us more than we can imagine. Reese and Nora are proof of that. They are always my reminder that God holds true to His promises. A scripture that comes to mind is
1 Corinthians 2: 9 "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
Last, but not least......I am so grateful for my eternal family! Words cannot express how much I love them and what a strength they are to me.  No matter what trials may come, they are mine for eternity. I know that families can be together forever. I not only know that, I feel it everyday of my life!
This gospel is true and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Reesie making Ron and Lola laugh

Sleeping beauty! I miss this sweet baby!