So this past week has been a refining week. It seems that we have just been waiting to hear what is going to happen next. A lot of people have asked me how I am doing and I can honestly say that I am doing fine. The spirit has been abundant in our home and we have just felt a peace and calmness about everything. As Ron and I were talking tonight, we both had the feeling this week like I had spoken of in D&C 123:17,".....stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God." We have been faced with the birth father's attorney who is less than kind and trying to attack and bully us. With everything that has been going on this week, I just keep thinking of the " Strength of the Lord". I thought of how Laban was delivered up unto Nephi. how the Lamanites were delivered up unto the Nephites, I thought of Captain Moroni and how he went forth with the title of liberty, and how in the strength of the Lord, Helaman fought with his 2,000 stripling warriors to the aid of Antipus and defeated the Lamanites. In the strength of the Lord, miracles are performed and His hand is revealed. At first, I thought this week was just a week of waiting, but last night as I was praying, I felt that this week of waiting has been more important than the previous weeks of working. Both are important, but I realized that as I was waiting, I wasn't just waiting to see what would happen next. This was time that Heavenly Father was performing his works which are more powerful than anything I could do. I have said for a long time that the Lord wants my heart. By that, I mean, He wants my desires to be turned to Him. He wants my desires to be the same as His. Anyway, I realized that once we have worked and done all we can do and have turned our hearts over to Heavenly Father, then He can perform miracles. This was a testimony builder of how Heavenly Father knows all and has all power. I'm not sure if the miracle will be that we are able to adopt Lola, if hearts will be softened, if Heavenly Father will give me the strength and understanding to let Lola go, or it could be a myriad of things. All I know is that He has my heart and I trust that whatever comes is Heavenly Father's will and he knows what is best for me. I have used this quote many times, but I wanted to post it once more because I love it.
"Even if and when we seem to have squeezed out the last full measure of our devotion, an omniscient and perfectly empathetic God not only knows the difficulties through which we have passed and are passing but also knows if any residue of unused devotion still remains to further the process!" -Elder Maxwell
Only Heavenly Father knows what we need to further the process. To become like Him. I am so grateful for these trials and experiences that strengthen my faith and my testimony. I have also realized how amazing my life is. Here are a few things that I am grateful for......
- I am grateful for my amazing husband that honors His priesthood and has been my rock.
-I am grateful for Reese and Nora and that they are mine for eternity.
-I am grateful to be a mother. Nothing brings me greater joy than to be the mother of my sweet girls.
-I am grateful for Lola and for her ability to expand my ability to love and sacrifice.
- I am grateful for my amazing family and the love and support that they give us.
- I am grateful for our amazing friends that love and serve in any way that they can.
-I am grateful for prayer. Thank you for every prayer that was offered on our behalf. We felt every single one of them and we have been "....encircled in the arms of His love."
- I am grateful for previous trials that have prepared me for this one.
- I am grateful for the Holy Ghost which has guided us every step of the way.
-I am grateful for all of our sweet friends that have brought over meals, taken my girls, brought over cookies, gifts, etc.
- I am grateful for Stephanie and Scott Steiner. Words cannot express how much I love these 2 amazing people.
There are many more things that I am grateful for, but all I am saying is that I have a good life and I am thankful for all the amazing people in it. Especially Ron, Reese, and Nora!!
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