adoption update

Continuing on.....
That month of December was wonderful because it was Christmas time, but also very difficult. Although, I love December and was enjoying all of the holiday festivities, I had so much anxiety. I started to analyze everything I said and did. I started to think that if I did not say and do everything perfectly, this adoption would fall through. I started thinking that my works were not enough. Finally, one day, I was on the treadmill, and was reading in Ether 12. I realized that I always pray that the birth mother would be filled with grace. That strengthening and enabling power to do what she could not do on her own. I knew that placing a child for adoption is one of the most difficult things you can ever do, but something that I realized during this past month is that I need our Savior's grace more than ever. This adoption was not brought about because of my perfect works, for I can't do enough to earn the right to be the twins mother, but this adoption was brought about because of a loving Heavenly Father. He knew that these twins belonged in our family and He brought Genesha and our family together. It seemed like very shortly after I felt the spirit and these truths were felt in my heart, I was able to let go of a lot of the anxiety that I felt about trying to be the perfect adoptive mother ALL THE TIME and always saying and doing the perfect thing. It seemed like my insecurities left and I was filled with faith and confidence again. I can't even explain how much I needed to feel our Heavenly Father's love and confidence throughout this past month. He has given me the strength and patience to keep moving forward having faith in Him.