March 1, 2013

I absolutely love Sunday mornings! We have church at 1:00pm and Reese will usually sleep in until 11:00 and so I listen to church music, read my scriptures, write in my journal, and just enjoy the spirit. I just have to say throughout the last couple months as we have awaited the arrival of this sweet baby girl. I have gone from very very excited to very very anxious to very very fearful and now at peace. I don't know what is going to happen, but I just feel at peace and wait on the Lord. It is such an amazing feeling to feel like I am completely out of control, but it is okay. As I have been so fearful of losing another baby that has taken place in my heart, I have been able to fall in love all over again with Reese ( if that is possible.) In a blessing that I received from Ron, it said, "to cherish this one on one time I have with Reese.) Throughout these last few weeks, I just keep thanking Heavenly Father for eternal families because I know that know one can take Reese away from me. I am grateful every day that she is my daughter and that I get to be her mom. She is the spunkiest, cutest little girl and she amazes me every day. She tells us thank you for everything and I love it. She thanks me for changing her diaper and then tells me welcome also. She thanks me for brushing her teeth and turning on music she likes. She thanks me for getting her out of her booster and little things I wouldn't even think of. I am so grateful that she is ours forever. I am just grateful for my eternal family. I love my husband more than ever before. It seems that with each adoption attempt, we grow closer together and I am very grateful for the rock he is to me. I love him more each day and I am grateful for a wonderful husband that is an amazing Daddy as well. I am grateful for trials that help you see what is truly important. My family is my everything and we are happier now than we have ever been. I feel like more than ever before, we are worthy of this precious spirit that will bless our home because of the love and the spirit I feel in our family. I want this sweet baby to have parents that love each other so much and I feel like we can offer her that.

Anyway, I love my family so much and we have felt so many prayers. I know it is because of the prayers of others that I am able to feel so much peace and not anxiety. The other day I was sitting there thinking how can I feel this much peace amidst this rollercoaster of emotions and I felt the spirit so strongly and saw many friends, family, and leaders in my mind praying for us and it was an overwhelming feeling. Thank you so much for your prayers! They are felt!

So with the baby...... We are still waiting.  Sadie was given 2 due dates so obviously, her actual due date is probably March 14. Last tuesday she was 100% effaced and dilated to a 2. They stripped her membrane and now we are just waiting. Thanks for your love!