Since this is one of the ways that I journal, I like to write the things of my heart. The things that I want to remember and the things that I would like my children to remember as well. As I write my experiences down, it always helps me to acknowledge the hand of the Lord in my life and all that I have to be grateful for. Sometimes I think it can be difficult to acknowledge that hand of the Lord in all things. Especially when things do seem to be going well, but as I read my scriptures, continue to pray, and just trust in Him. I know I am being led and guided and that is what really matters. After the past couple of adoptions that have not worked out in the past couple months, I started to doubt my ability to listen and understand promptings. I felt very strongly about both of these birth mothers that we needed to move forward with them, but both resulting in the birth mothers deciding to parent. I remember feeling like maybe I misunderstood the promptings I received to move forward with these birth mothers and get so emotionally involved in their lives. Right after I had this thought, I was reading my scriptures and read in Jacob 4:13," Behold, my brethren, he that prophesieth, let him prophecy to the understanding of men, for the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls..." As I read this verse, I was filled with the spirit and I felt that all those promptings that I had received before concerning these birth mothers were real and to not doubt myself or my experiences. As I felt these promptings, I realized that there are many reasons that Heavenly Father might put us in contact with a birth mother. Sometimes it might be for the birth mother, sometimes we need to learn something from the experience, and sometimes we are brought together because these precious babies are supposed to come to our family (that is my favorite reason).
I am so grateful for these experiences that help me know that Heavenly Father is aware of what is going on in my life. He knows my struggles and he knew the desires of my heart. I am grateful for these experiences that help me to learn to not doubt myself and the promptings that I receive, but as long as I am feeling these promptings often, I am being led to whatever Heavenly Father has in store for us.
