Update...

I know a lot of people have been wondering what has been going on with our adoption over the past few days so I thought I would just let everyone know. On Saturday, Cassie went into labor and so we went down to the hospital and were with Cassie all through her contractions and then stepped just outside the room so we could hear Karsen when he arrived. She delivered Karsen on the 24th around 4:00pm. The pediatrician said, "Here Mom and Dad "and put Karsen's footprint on one of our hands. I was able to give Karsen his first feeding and the cute nurse let us give Karsen his first bath. He loved the water! Our families came up and we took pictures with them and Karsen. We stayed at the hospital until late that night and then came up the following morning. We left at about 5:00pm and were planning on bringing home Karsen on monday evening after signing all the papers. We hadn't heard anything monday afternoon and finally around 3:00PM, we were told that Cassie was having a difficult time signing the papers and was thinking about parenting. Our caseworker took us into her office and told us Cassie was thinking about parenting and as a last option, Cassie had agreed upon temporary foster care, which means for the next 3 days, she was going to act as if she had placed and Karsen was going to come home with us and if Cassie wanted him back at any time, she could just let the agency know. We really didn't want to do the temporary foster care, because we knew it would be even more difficult if she decided to parent, but we also didn't want Karsen to go to another family for 3 days. The next few days were really difficult. Many people wanted to bring dinners over and come visit the baby and we had to just tell people that we were not having visitors over right now and we figured we would just deal with telling people what happened later. Even though I knew he would be leaving soon, I still dressed him in all of the cutest outfits I had. I would bawl when Ron would lay him on the bed and just play with him and talk to him. We tried to make sure we didn't bond too much (which happened anyway) and we were just waiting for him to be taken away, which he was taken away about 1 and 1/2 hours ago. It has been very difficult, but I have learned so many things from this trial also. I can talk about this now, because I don't think there are any tears left:) I learned that whenever Ron and I do get the chance to be parents, that we work together really well. I learned that Ron will be such an amazing father. I was up with Karsen last night for a few hours and Ron woke up and took a turn so that I could get some sleep and I saw him reading "Goodnight Moon" to Karsen last night also. He will be a great Daddy one day! I also have a new appreciation for my husband. I don't know why we are having such a difficult time starting our family, but I realized that before they come and hopefully long after they leave our home, Ron still will be right by my side and being my support. I know we will have a family some day, and now again I must learn patience and trust in my Heavenly Father. I know he will bless us with children one day! I am so grateful for our amazing friends and family. We are very grateful for your prayers, your children's prayers, and those that fasted for us. We have truly been overwhelmed with your love and support and have been buoyed up. THANK YOU!!